On Choices we make

 

forgive me for what I am about to share.

I don’t mean any disrespect towards anyone who has high value towards family.However, here I will share my breaking point decision.

I’ll be turning a year old again this year– and that only means that it’s another count away from that twenty something age.

Another decade that will mark a big change in my life. (Only this time, there won’t be any turning back.)

Each year, I take the opportunity to improve on my own.

It’s probably because no one can do that for you.

While it breaks my heart that sooner or later I would have to make a choice to leave the nest on my own, as raw as it feels. I’m slowly coming into that final breaking point of that decision process.

as a person, I suffer from a self-diagnosed PTSD with border line DID. I’m not sure if it makes sense to you just yet, but if it doesn’t then. Maybe some time in the future, I’ll be more open to further express what that exactly is.

for now, I am here to share to you a decision that I would like to make for myself.

the decision to love myself more fiercely and take control of my life instead of allowing the tied to break me into a hundred million pieces filled with regrets.

there is much detail that I cannot write it all, but there is only one thing that I can say to express it clearly.

anyone who suffers from these disorders due to stress and the likes cannot live a healthy life with people who suffer from the same.

sometimes, distance is the best answer to avoid catastrophic damages. I know it isn’t too late, and as hard as it would be. I think, I’m just about brave enough to embark on that journey.

I know that it would be hard but, it beats anything than staying in one place where you are aware that your world is falling apart.

so, if you understand or have an inkling of an idea what I am going through. I encourage you dear friend to love yourself more, and take time to think about the choices you make not for anyone but for yourself and what makes you happy and peaceful.

leaving people and the life we were accustom to can be very scary but as someone who was given a preview of how life would be without the stress and anxiety of uncertainty of your mental safety is always worth it.

 

 

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